Home sickness is a terrible thing

So the past week as been a little bit of a hard one. I wonder if its the heat of the summer that has gone but I have found myself this week very homesick. 

The funny thing I don't miss England as a country. Apparently things are very bad there. This mostly down to the economy my dad and my sister are both threatened to be paid off again and I keep hearing of a increase of child abductions. I love the fact that were I live is so safe and peaceful i just wish i could take all my family and friends with me. 

However it was when going out with friends on Friday that my insecurity got to me. I hear about friends colleges and family because of my lack of grammar driving them mad. (I have very bad dyslexia so I have always had a problem with grammar). As well as a conversation about what you have children its the end of your social life. This made me yearn for those long built close friendships with people I know will always support me. I know that for myself I wouldn't lose my social life as Kevin would be willing to take children while I went out once or twice a month. I just hope other realise it and they dont start to outcast me. I already feel that I have lost some of my friendships here. I know that friendships take time but sometimes I feel impatient and miss the closeness i had with people.

It also makes for very hard times when those close friends i speak of have problems of there own and i find myself to far away to help. Sometimes I feel myself very torn between the country I love and the people I love and wish i could have things both ways. I hope with time I can find friendships such as those I miss from uk. 

So questions for thought. How do others deal with homesickness and leaving loved ones behind?

Reflection

I am now I'm reaching the 18 months mark of my time here in Belgium. I have finished my time as a Au Pair and I am still very lucky that I can babysit for them at times.

It has been a very up and down 18 months and when I first became a au pair I never imaged the impact the family would have on me. I love the family almost like they were my own and the realisation of leaving them was difficult  I also had in fact learned a great deal from them. But I guess that's what the experience is all about. I am very close to the daughter a lot more than the son. However I have grown very found of them both.

As for the other aspects of my life in Belgium. Sometimes it can be slow a difficult. Some days it feels like a big struggle. My language learning is slow and steady  however my hopes for a job are small. All I can do for now is learn Dutch and hope Kevin gets a job with enough to support us as a programmer until I can get things prepared on the Dutch front. However I must admit that currently I am not enjoying my classes at all. The teacher can be really bad sometimes and I feel very out casted among all the Turkish and French speaking people in my class. The is a couple of Spanish girls who however are very nice at lest.

However the more I am here the more things I love about Flanders and Gent and the more I want to make things work. I guess i just have to be paceant. Also in other news I will no longer be writing for Fans of Flanders. Apparently my blog just isn't up to scratch. However I guess that's not important as I write it for myself.

Anyway last weekend I had a lovely shopping trip to get myself some winter goodies. The cold weather is setting in now time to bring out all those winter woollies and in my case buy some more  I almost got my long awaited Leonidas  hot chocolate on Saturday to. However when we went it was close lol. I have only been waiting for a hot chocolate there since last November  Oh well try again in a few weeks I guess however we did have a lovely dinner in the Founde Huisje. I can totally recommend there house rose wine to was really nice. A kind of grenache or slightly dry zinfandel. It was very light to drink and went lovely with the cheese and shrimp crockets before the fondue came. Also I would love to know what dressing the put on there salads there it was so yum. All in all it was a fab day we bought some xmas gifts Kevin got a game and I got a few jumpers and very achy feet. I must admit despite the weather being so horriebal and rainy that day im surprised that Gent was so busy.

Fans Of Flanders Outing

So a few weeks ago  I went on an adventure for the TV Show Fans Of Flanders. I was sent out to try electrified 3. Basically every year they do products around the city to try out. I was sent of 2 of the 3 projects.

The first of these projects was what they called a bicycle opera. My first thoughts was it would passably be a traditional opera and then with actors around the city. However it wasn't really like a opera at all. It was more like a tour of the city with a interesting soundtrack. It was very interesting however how you ride along and here pieces of the city inter grated with pieces of music. Sometimes you almost felt like you were half in another time or place as your ears were hearing sounds and stories from the 60s and your eyes were seeing 2012 making things somewhat unreal and dreamlike. However most of all it was a lot of fun.

As for the second piece this was even weirder for me. It was partly the same idea about taking sounds from a pre recorded track and emphasizing sounds from the city. This time I was given a pair of head phones and  there was music and dialogue. The idea behind the dialogue was in fact that I didn't exist and I was there to observe people and what people do. Given that we as people usually walk around with our heads down as we go about your daily lives and don't really pay attention to others around us it was also nice to take the time and see what sounds and images we notice. The sounds also came into the track from a microphone but were some how distorted keeping up the sense of I am not really here almost like I'm a ghost. Thus as I walked around I began to forget that I was in a way real and forget that people around me may walk into me etc.

The more I reflect on both events I do think that the second one was perhaps my Favourite as they were both a real experience and my talking about them just dose't do them justice. However I feel that I got more from the second one it left with with a lot to think about and reflect on. Over all both pieces purpus I think was to make people be more aware of the city around them and I defiantly discovered more of Gent of my travels.

I fully recommend trying them out as its something that will stick with me for a long time.